Emotional Resilience and Decision-Making: How Staying Strong in the Face of Adversity Impacts Our Choices

Luckygirliegirl .

Your ability to respond to pressure, stress, crises, and unexpected situations is a largely learned behavior. However, emotional resilience isn’t dictated solely by your life experience. Like many other things in life, we can adapt and learn how to face the things life throws at us with a better sense of purpose, adapting a more regulated approach to the inevitable chaos we will encounter from time to time.

Every single person faces adversity and situations we would rather not deal with. Often, we perpetuate the stress by handling ourselves poorly — compounding things by adding a layer of regret and shame to the burden we already carry.

In the first couple of years of my grieving process, nothing made sense to me. I was a mess. I couldn’t make simple decisions. When pressed my anxiety would go through the roof, followed by rising anger. I lashed out repeatedly, allowing my grief to become a weapon. I had to learn how to be more emotionally resilient in order to disarm myself, transforming my life and my relationships.

It took time, but things are so much better now. Let me give you an example: before, I would spend hours working on a client proposal because I got really worked up about the whole process. I’d remember past rejections, put things off, and end up asking my team members for help when deadlines loomed. But then I learned to pause before reacting when my emotions were high. I also realized that I won’t always get things perfect on the first try, so I adjusted my expectations. I kept practicing these two things for about 2 years, and eventually, my client workflow started to improve.

Maybe you’re after better results in your own life. Here are some reasons why I chose to focus on developing skills to overcome tough situations:

Clarity during Turbulent Times: Emotional resilience allows individuals to stay level-headed and maintain clarity when facing difficult or emotionally charged situations. This can prevent impulsive decision-making and lead to more thoughtful choices.
Balancing Emotions and Reason: Resilient individuals can acknowledge and process their emotions while still engaging in rational thinking. This balanced approach helps in making well-considered decisions rather than being driven solely by emotions.
Adapting to Change: Emotional resilience helps us adapt to unexpected changes and uncertainties. When we are better equipped to handle change, we can make decisions that align with new circumstances and opportunities.
Learning from Failures: Resilience allows us to view failures as learning experiences rather than insurmountable obstacles. This perspective fosters growth and enables us to make better decisions based on past experiences.
Enhanced Problem-Solving: Resilience fosters creativity and resourcefulness, which are valuable traits when it comes to problem-solving. Individuals with emotional resilience are more likely to find innovative solutions to challenges.
Improved Interpersonal Dynamics: Emotional resilience can positively impact relationships with others. When we handle our emotions well, we can communicate effectively, collaborate productively, and make decisions that consider the needs and feelings of others.

I felt a great deal of shame when my emotions got the best of me because I wanted the best of me to be present when facing this insurmountable obstacle that grief had brought my way. I wanted the best of me to be what I showered my friends and loved ones with, even in the midst of internal turmoil that was unbearable. I wanted the best of me to rise above the impossible tragedy of loss and guide the rest of me to a better place.

It took time. It took discipline. It took repeatedly failing but over time the best of me started to show up from time to time. It wasn’t easy but even the tiniest of success made me believe in myself enough to invite my best self back for a return engagement. Slowly, persistently, the best of me became a more consistent presence when life got tough. I wish she were always here when I need her but life is imperfect. I am imperfect, you are imperfect, but when the storm comes just remember that the best of you will learn to show up with the right encouragement.

Be generous with yourself. You got this and so do I.

Photo by Joseph Paolinelli

If you’d like to learn more about how to cultivate more emotional resilience, then contact me to work together!